5) Told heroin addict I give myself B-12 shots, and that I always run out of serum before I run out of needles.
4) Told a mail carrier I hate coupons.
3) Caught stealing a can of artichoke hearts out of a Food Bank donation box.
2) "Pisses me off when I lose a sock in the dryer. Don't you wish you could buy just one?" Said to a cashier missing a leg.
1) "I had no idea I'd lost this much weight!" Said in women's dressing room.
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